Dear Taylor Swift,

When your first 2020 surprise album dropped, I remember my husband coming into my room,

“Taylor Swift dropped a new album!”

Being in the midst of an awful Hyperemesis (HG) and Gestational Diabetes pregnancy my husband was in the habit of trying anything to cheer me up.

Imagine having a migraine and food poisoning for 9-months, that is Hyperemesis Gravidarum. It may sound like an exaggeration, often in the midst I would tell myself I just needed to be stronger, in denial.

Laying in my dark room, I tried to be excited.

"She is a QUEEN after all, of course she would try to make 2020 a little better"

One Saturday, knowing I needed to get out of my dark, safe room we packed our toddlers into their car seats, piled them with snacks and headed into the healing mountains.

"Do you mind if we listen to Taylor Swift's new album"

My husband, asked, knowing that sometimes noise made my nausea worse.

"Let's do it!"

Hoping it would bring some semblance of normalcy to my life, I listened to your new album, driving past the Hungry Horse Dam and between the beauty of the Swan and Flathead Range.

Hindsight is 2020 (pun intended), when I came out of what I've begun calling my HG Coma it's as if I've finally awoken, and WHAT A WORLD I WOKE UP TO.

Hong Kong protests, Australia fires killing 500 million animals, impeachment trials of a U.S. President, largest one-day decline in the Dow since 2008, U.S. President suspends funding to the World Health Organization, Harvey Weinstein, Kobe Bryant helicopter crash, Impeachment of Donald Trump, Summer Olympics cancelled,  Global Recession, West Coast Fires, Ruth Bader Ginsberg Dies, unprecedented election process.

Throw in Murder hornets, volcanos, Russian cyber attacks and it would be the understatement of the century that we've had quite the year!

Oh and there was a pandemic? As of December 13th, 2020 71.0 MILLION PEOPLE have had COVID with 1.61MILLION Deaths. That is 1.61MILLION peoples grandparents,  fathers, mothers, children.

It has taken until my lovely Lorelai LaVigne was born, that placenta finally out of my body, the culprit of my 2020 Nausea Fog, that I began to wake up.

After a life-threatening blood clot, that for the pregnancy was my 2020 proverbial icing on the cake, it took me many days to fully feel that fog lift.

"Taylor Swift just dropped ANOTHER album"

My husband announces at 1am, coming into our room to check on our now one week old baby girl.

This time, it wasn't what I needed to distract myself, it was what I needed to heal.

I have found myself listening to it on repeat, writing, writing, writing. The woes of 2020 pouring out in written form.

So Taylor Swift, thank you for being part of the support that carried me through.


Maggie (fellow Warrior woman)

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